Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
