I got chris browned last night
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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