I think my fart just growled at me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
