I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
