One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
