got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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