Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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