Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
