i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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