Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
