Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
