rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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