just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
