dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
