all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
