Tell her she can't have a vagina
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
