I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
