I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
