I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
