that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
