lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
