Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
