its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
