I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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