Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
