Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
