My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
