I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
