You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
