She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
