Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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