Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He did a backflip because drugs
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
