why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
