I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
