he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
