Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
