There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
