Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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