Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
