Having a random hookup so left but love u
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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