Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
