I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
