Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
