I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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