i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
