Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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