my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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