Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
