My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
