This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This is my gift to your gina
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize